I still break down at the end!
It's gonna be a disaster period for me to go through. A tough and hurtful life that I had to go through now. I need strength right now, someone I can totally rely on. Playing Maple isn't something that can totally make me forgot about the situation that I am in right now. Words just doesn goes what I should have done, but breakdown severly to the max that people started to questions me what had really happened to me when I told them that I am not feeling rather well. I don't know how to handle it and am confused about it totally. I'm at a lost right now! Thinking of commiting sucide, but second thought would be " would God forgive me if I really does that? ". It's not words that can really cure me totally, but my strength and support. I'm tramatize by it, but not totally. By fearing this thing would be spread among peoples and not hoping to see them. I doesn't know how to express my fear and hurt, but it's how you feel when your loved once died.
I dono whether my reaction is huge, but I'm me. My strength and courage is not that high.

thanks for the concern & joke , fives...

let me rely on You now Lord

♥